How to build a beautiful connection with your child


May, 2020

Do you want to have a wonderful relationship with your child? Ensure you have a great connection and know that the way you parent will contribute to their overall wellbeing and give them the stepping stones towards a happy and fulfilled life? The secret to this is to learn how not only to tell your children you love them and that they are safe but show it through your actions continuously. Conscious parenting as opposed to winging it! You’re in the right place.

Make connecting with your child your biggest priority

How can you ensure you connect with your child? A lot about making and keeping the connection with your child is about prioritising them, not just their physical needs but ensuring their emotional needs are paramount. You can do this by paying attention between what’s going on between you, how your child reacts in certain situations and observing how you can help them to understand the world around them better. Of course, there will be times where you will irritate each other, that is natural. Try to keep in mind they are still the babies you brought into this world and how you felt in that moment. Ground yourself and remember you are the adult, even if your own inner child is screaming something different. You can ensure you are giving your child enough attention by being present. 

Being present will mean setting aside time everyday for the both of you to play, talk, listen and observe. Like a beautiful flower you want to see flourish. Additionally, when you have other task to tend to, which you will of course, explain to your child what you’re doing and why you’ll be busy for some time. This will let them understand that boundary and that you have something to do and are simply not abandoning them. If you have multiple children, it is also important to spend one to one time with each child daily.

It starts from the very beginning

Research indicates and has proved that bonding with your child right from the start will make your connection stronger. This of course means lots of cuddles, speaking softly, singing and ensuring your child is being welcomed into the world in a calm and peaceful environment where they feel loved and safe in its parent’s care. Think about your environment and how it caters to a newborn. This includes thinking about how loud you have the television when they are sleeping and what kind of sounds and other elements, they are subject to.

All relationships take work and consistency

Amazing parent-child relationships are not given, they take work, just like all relationships do. Of course, biologically the fact that we have a natural instinct to care and love our babies gives us a better chance. However, as your children grow you have to continue to create and maintain that bond with them. Understanding their different ages and stages and personal unique needs.

You are the adult and you need to be responsible for understanding your child and how to continually develop a great relationship with your child. It is your responsibility. Regardless of your own upbringing it is time to make that change so that we can nurture our children in the ways we were not in a lot of cases.

Make quality time a priority with your child

Like any relationship we have we need to make time for the relationship in order for it to function well. Whilst quality time is good it must be frequent and enjoyable for both you and your child. Perhaps you have a shared interest or there is something they love to do and have you present with them.

Make sure this time is allocated and try to make it as frequent as possible. Building and maintaining your relationship with your child is key here. Allow this to be a time for you to listen to your child, allow them to open up to you and relax into it.

Do you share stories with them, perhaps from your childhood? Tell them jokes, let them know more about you and your childhood? It’s a really nice way to bond. 

There are so many ways to spend time and connect. Whether that be by watching a movie, doing a sport together, reading together, cooking together, sharing stories, playing games, teaching each other something new. The choices are endless.

Build and earn their trust

The trust of your child starts in infancy. This is the time when your child will start to form that connection with you almost immediately. Your baby will soon learn if he or she can depend on you to be there when she needs you, knowing if its emotional and physical needs are being met and if they are then your child will feel securely and adequately attached and the bond forms organically.

However, as your child grows you needs to continue to show through your example and behaviour that your child is able to trust you fully. How you can continue to earn and maintain your child’s trust is by following through on your promises, for example if you promise to play a game with them that evening then you do so, equally making sure you are on time to pick them up from events and so on. 

Having this example in a parent will allow your children to hopefully grow and develop these skills to be a trustworthy dependable person to their own peers as, the larger community and within your family unit. Your child is a child, but implementing trust early on and being mindful that one day your child will grow up and need these qualities to have functional and healthy relationships is important and it is something we must all take responsibility for in parenting and childcare. If we know better, then we shall do better. There is no need for cycles to continue to repeat themselves.

The aim is one child by one we are creating a more balanced and stable life for ourselves and our brothers and sisters around the globe.